Duncan Garner: It's true, I've breached my vegan quarantine more than once

The AM Show 18/01/2021

OPINION: I have been desperate to get this off my chest and to be upfront and honest from the get-go. 

Many of you have asked me face-to-face, also by email, pigeon, and yelling at me across the street, "are you still a vegan mate"?

Well, as far as I'm concerned the answer remains "yes". 

But equally, I'm human. I was a bloke in the middle of the festive season and it's true, I did breach my vegan quarantine more than once.

In fact, I crossed my vegan border fence three times. 

Now, for those who wish to jump on my grave - get in line. I'll talk you through what happened,  this is my confession.

First, there was a piece of steak on Christmas Day but, my goodness, it was an awful way to break my pledge.

It was cooked, if you can call it that, by mum's bloke Trevor and, sorry Trevor, but this is where you go under the bus. I breached my vegan diet after two-and-half strict months for a rubbery overcooked piece of boiled meat.

My second vegan incursion proved I'm no natural vegan. I caught eight snapper in 15 minutes off the Noises in the outer Hauraki Gulf. 

Duncan Garner. Photo credit: The AM Show
Duncan Garner. Photo credit: The AM Show

It was in true caring vegan style; big hooks, filleted, scaled, beheaded, deboned, and consumed. I tried not to. 

I gave one to my local dairy owner, another went to the person parked next to me at the dairy, two more to a mate, one to my son, and in a moment of 2021 vegan kindness, I think the ex even got one.

Yes, I ate the rest.

My third breach? Well, I had to make up for Trevor's disaster. It was his lesson to never boil streak again. 

There he was in his full pyjamas, fading light, but being force-fed a cooking lesson from a collapsed vegan. He won't boil it again. 

So, am I vegan? Well, I'm still trying. 

But yes, I let you down during the holidays. Three moments when I was weak.

I put my hand up, but I'm plowing on as a vegan.

The vegan community has been fantastic, supportive, and generous and I can't fault them. 

I hope I haven't disappointed them too much, or you. 

Yes, you can niggle me - I deserve it and I can take it.

I'll own it. 

Duncan Garner hosts The AM Show.