Stock image of condom via Getty
Stock image of condom via Getty

What is "Stealthing"? And is it rape?

Danny and Leah 16/04/2021

OPINION: Kia ora whanau. A Wellington court hands down a sentence for rape after “stealthing” by a man involved in consensual sex. What a sentence. What a milestone sentence.

First up “stealthing” is where a participant in sexual intercourse removes the condom during the act. Two consenting adults agreeing to have sex, using a condom to protect against an unwanted pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease. He removes it, breaking the “contract” made between the pair and now he is convicted of rape.

Of the many callers we took at Magic Talk none said they agreed with the rape conviction. Perhaps unlawful sexual connection, sexual assault, breach of contract were all mentioned and then the question was asked, “what if a woman said she was protected against pregnancy by either the pill or some IUD device and lied, resulting in the birth of a child against the now fathers wishes?

We then took a call from Chris who said she had it happen to her with a devastating outcome. She was a mother of a child and when having sex with a new partner they both agreed that they would use a condom as there was no way she could handle a pregnancy.

During intercourse he removed the condom and as a consequence she was pregnant.

To add to her problems he refused to support or help her and at the same time joked and boosted amongst his friends and the community about it.

Traumatised by this, Chris suffered a breakdown, was institutionalised, the pregnancy terminated without her consent. While all of this was going on her child was removed from her custody and put with other family members. She has rebuilt a relationship with her child however because of the breakdown still does not have custody.

Even after all of this she still said “it was not rape” however the Law does need to have some teeth in these type of cases.

I am not sure about you but as a Judge it would be difficult to find the condom remover guilty of rape however they are definitely guilty of Sexual violation by unlawful sexual connection (Section 128 Crimes Act 1961)

Every action has a consequence, the unfortunate thing we can never know, is what all of the consequences may be.

Nga mihi, Danny.

Catch Danny Watson & Leah Panapa every weekday from midday on Magic Talk.